Patience

I woke up today groggy and tired from working weekend nights and the disappointment of not being pregnant (again.... its only month three, but still frustrating). and then I remembered.... our good morning girls Bible study starts today!!!  I was so excited. I sleepily came downstairs, started coffee, took my little puppy outside potty and sat at the kitchen table with my Bible, journal, computer, and steaming hot cup of coffee.  After 30 minutes of studying our Bible verse with a little thanks to John McAurthor I'm feeling more awake, comforted, and maybe even a little happier.


My husband says we aren't "actively trying" but sometimes I wonder if maybe because saying it makes it more real and open for disappointment when it doesn't happen.  Maybe not for him, but I'd sure say that it applies to me.  


It's hard to want something that you can't suddenly "make happen," especially when you are seeing it continually occur around you.  Next door neighbor, she's expecting right?  Why... yes she is..  And your friend who lived a couple doors down, she's expecting to right?  Yes, her fourth.  That girl you work with, didn't they get pregnant by "accident"?  Yeah actually, they did.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  

-Mark 11:24

Sometimes you start wondering... "God why don't you want me to have this blessing?.... Is it because I didn't trust You in the first place and used science to plan for our time, to not accept your blessings to begin with?"  I'm sure we all play those mind games, the what ifs, why not right nows....  but maybe sometimes He's just saying.... "Wait... this will be better, just wait on Me.  You will be amazing at what I can do... at what I can give you..."

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

-Romans 8:28

But I Need It!

A friend of mine always laughs at me while we walk aimlessly through Target or other stores when I point to something or stop and examine a find and say "oooh, I need this!"  Obviously I don't truly mean I need everything, it is just the phrase I use that she has come to tease me for.

How often do we find ourselves needing something or feeling that it is what we deserve or even our right to have something?  Probably more often than not.  At least I always become surprised (and silently ashamed) of my selfishness when I come to see it.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak

and not to please ourselves.  

Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. 

-- Romans 15:1-2

God has definitely been stretching me this past week.  Our anniversary vacation turned out to be far from what we, or maybe specifically I, had originally planned it out to be.  Where we would go, what we would do or see, and our alone (and relaxation) time together.  We had jokingly said before it would be "the honeymoon we couldn't have" when we were first married just over a year ago.  

It was different in a good way, once I came to see the bigger picture (and stop the grumbling and irritation that was circling in my mind).  I actually find it rather embarrassing to type out my selfishness and shortcoming but maybe if it strikes a chord with anyone else in the same situation or soon to face a struggle it will be worth it. 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 

-- Philippians 2:3-4

I certainly doubt God would be saying "sorry Lacey, this is my anniversary vacation with so and so... and so I need to do what I want to do, because well you are just tagging along with us."  I'm sure he'd be asking "what do you want to do today?" or "What can I do for you...tell me how can I serve you today to make your vacation time more enjoyable?" and not giving a second thought to what He wanted.  

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  

John 15:12

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you,

you also are to love one another. 

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35

I can say with certainty that I heavily failed when it came to the expectation that God might have had for me this weekend.  Or maybe He didn't have?  Maybe he knew I needed to grow here and was slowly stretching me to transform into a more mature woman of God.  Out of a heart of love He commands that we pursue and cherish unselfish Christ-like Christian love for one another.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 

so that you may become blameless and pure, 

children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. 

-- Philippians 2:14-15

Meet Quovadis.....

A friend of ours is a full time intercessory Missionary at IHOPE House of Prayer Mission Bases in Iowa and will soon be movingto Kansas City with his family to head up prison ministry for IHOP in KC.  He recently started a web page with information, areas to donate, and included some teachings he has done and he keeps it updated with what God is showing him and their journey.  

I thought I'd share, I always enjoy listening to Q teach...... take a look/listen....  Q's webpage

How to....

I read something last night that I wanted to share.  I've been letting some things really get to me lately and drag me down.  I got an email from a friend yesterday who had reminded me that Satan will try to do anything he can to destroy us, our families, our marriages.  He plants a lie in our minds and hearts and runs with it.

But he turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man."

--Matthew 16:23

Last night in bed I was reading before going to sleep.  My husband had a book called "Let Go."  It is a book of letters written by  Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon, the Archbishop of Cambrai, France, during the seventeenth Century.  The book is to be read like a devotional, thinking about each letter and not just reading it all in one sitting. Here's the chapter I read...

Letter 2 "How to Bear Suffering Peacefully"

Concerning our friend, I pray that god will give him a simplicity of trust that will bring him peace.  When we are careful to instnantly let go of all needless worries and restless thoughts (that is, self-centered thoughts, rather than loving, outgoing ones), then we shall find ourselves on plateaus of peace even in the midst of the straight and narrow.  We shall find ourselves walking in the freedom and innocent peace of the children of God, not lacking wholesome relationships either toward God or man.

I willingly apply to myself the same advice that I give to others, for I am convinced that I must seek my own peace in the same direction.  Even now my soul is suffering, but I am aware that it is the life of self which causes us pain,; that which is dead does not suffer.  If we were really dead, and our life hid with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3), we would no longer struggle with those pains in spirit that now afflict us.  So we must learn to bear all suffering with composure, even those which come upon us through no fault of our own.  But we must beware of that restlessness of spirit which might be our own fault.  We can add to our God-given cross by agitated resistance and an unwillingness  to suffer.  This is simply and evident of the remaining life of self.

A cross which comes from God out to be welcomed without any concern for self.  And when you accept your cross this way, eve though it is painful, you will fin that you can bear it in peace.  but when your receive your cross unwillingly, you will find it to be doubly severe.  The resistance within is harder to bear than the cross itself!  But if you recognize the hand of God, and make no opposition to his Will, you will have peace in the midst of affliction.  Happy indeed are they who can bear their sufferings with the simple peace and perfect submission to the will of God!  Nothing so shortens and soothes suffering as this spirit of non-resistance.

But usually we want to drive a bargain with God.  We would at least like to suggest some limits so that we can see an end to our sufferings.  We don't realize how we are thwarting the purposes of God when we take this  attitude.  Because the stubborn clinging to life which makes the cross necessary in the first place, also tends us to reject that cross - at least in part.  So we have to go over the same ground again and again.

We wend up suffering greatly, but to very little purpose.  May the Lord deliver us from falling into that state of soul in which crosses are of no benefit to us.  God lives a cheerful giver, according to St Paul in Second Corinthians 9:8.  Ah! What must be His love for those who, in cheerful and absolute abandonment, give themselves completely to be crucified with Christ!"

excerpt taken from...... Fenelon. (1973). Let Go (pp. 2-4). New Kensington, PA: Whitaker House.

a life wasted

I was browsing around IHOPs site today, specifically some of Mike Bickle's teachings and I came upon a note he had written.....

  "In Oct. 78, I had a supernatural encounter in which Jesus said, “You are saved but your life was wasted”. I protested, “You have the wrong person.” The thought came that it is impossible to manipulate the Man Christ Jesus. I cried, “Can I have another chance?” The next thought came strongly that it is appointed unto a person to die once then comes the judgment (Hebrews 9:27). I wept with a profound sense of loss and regret. What matters most about our life is what Jesus thinks when our eyes meet. I fear “regret” more than anything else in my life."

He wrote how when he came to he was kneeling on the floor weeping instead of lying in his bed.  

Can you imagine?  Coming face to face with God... His beauty, majesty, glory... and hear him say to you... "you are saved... but, you're life has been wasted"

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

 

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing

  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 

For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

 

 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

“He will reply, 

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

--Matthew 25:34-45 

Learn to do right!
Seek justice,
   encourage the oppressed.
Defend the cause of the fatherless,
   plead the case of the widow. 

--Isaiah 1:17

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world

--James 1:23-24

 

This is the stuff.....

I heard this song on the radio a few days ago and it hit home......

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use

-- This is the Stuff, Francesca Battistelli




An unknown author writes......

“A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. 
But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. 
It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.”

I get it.... we go through struggles, we're supposed to... we won't become what and who we are supposed to become unless we go through hard times, struggles, persecution...  still doesn't make it any easier, does it?  It doesn't for me.
  I still struggle with a situation; with being frustrated and the annoyances related to it so I haven no solution to it in this post.  I'm still working through it.  I just keep asking God to take away any anger that arises.  By being upset probably won't help me to learn what I am supposed to be learning or "grooming" me in the way I am supposed to be groomed.
  Sometimes it takes a little while for my mood or attitude to change, whether it is me not fully letting go, or just the sometimes "slowness" in the process.
I can't remember where I read it... but I did recently, I tried trying to re-find the verse but I've finished a couple books in the past week or so so I really have no idea where it came from.  It said something about being happy in the moment, and not allowing something to take that away.  I really wish I could remember it, or that I had written it down, it was perfect for this time.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" 

-- Ecclesiastes 3:1-22 

"He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding." 

--Daniel 2:21

 

Amazed

What I awoke to this morning....... I am continually amazed at things  God gives us to enjoy

You dance over me while I am unaware
You sing all around but I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
And how You love me

You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand

How deep how wide
How great is Your love for me