Patience

I woke up today groggy and tired from working weekend nights and the disappointment of not being pregnant (again.... its only month three, but still frustrating). and then I remembered.... our good morning girls Bible study starts today!!!  I was so excited. I sleepily came downstairs, started coffee, took my little puppy outside potty and sat at the kitchen table with my Bible, journal, computer, and steaming hot cup of coffee.  After 30 minutes of studying our Bible verse with a little thanks to John McAurthor I'm feeling more awake, comforted, and maybe even a little happier.


My husband says we aren't "actively trying" but sometimes I wonder if maybe because saying it makes it more real and open for disappointment when it doesn't happen.  Maybe not for him, but I'd sure say that it applies to me.  


It's hard to want something that you can't suddenly "make happen," especially when you are seeing it continually occur around you.  Next door neighbor, she's expecting right?  Why... yes she is..  And your friend who lived a couple doors down, she's expecting to right?  Yes, her fourth.  That girl you work with, didn't they get pregnant by "accident"?  Yeah actually, they did.

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  

-Mark 11:24

Sometimes you start wondering... "God why don't you want me to have this blessing?.... Is it because I didn't trust You in the first place and used science to plan for our time, to not accept your blessings to begin with?"  I'm sure we all play those mind games, the what ifs, why not right nows....  but maybe sometimes He's just saying.... "Wait... this will be better, just wait on Me.  You will be amazing at what I can do... at what I can give you..."

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

-Romans 8:28